The night began as Amani delivered Mancini’s to an adult man in a pink v neck. He invited Amani in for a drink and opened the door to reveal a display of tea candles. As the soft voiced man asked every teen’s least favorite question, (Are you 18?) Amani handed him his pizza and walked briskly back to his car, flattered, but relieved for a narrow escape. The evening was just getting started.
The move destination was Sam D’s, a lovely jewish abode, decorated sparingly with an eye for modernity and clean lines. The Dark Knight played on a prominently displayed television and teens sipped soda while enjoying the familiar superhero’s story. Aidan D impressed fellow move-goers with a surprisingly well executed card trick. Amani described the scene as having, “a good millennial feel” but he longed for more dancing.
At first, we were unsure as to whether the move was worthy of a review, seeing as it was more like an intimate gathering than anything else. Hopeful that things would get crazier with time, Annie began taking down quotes, beginning with Robert. He stated, “I went into this night not knowing what to expect but here I am, half a 750 deep, having the time of my life. Shout out to life and Brian for making me feel safe. Most importantly shout out to Annie for taking this quote down and shout out to Jane for laughing.”
Sam’s dad’s brand new harmonica was unboxed, and Ben R gave it the first blow. A circle of teens passed it around, taking turns experimenting with the mysterious instrument. Quickly, the harmonica playing was interrupted by fear, “What if someone has mono and we all get it because we all played this harmonica?” “What if someone here has mono and then Sam’s dad gets mono?” These hypotheticals lead John to a confidant conclusion, “A harmonica is a cesspool of disease, but also a cesspool of fun.”
Annie noticed more teens drinking tap water than usual, and Ben R pointed out, “The water is good here.” Eric, keen to make a speech, attempted to gather the attention of his peers in the kitchen by taping a glass with a spoon. He began by apologizing to anyone he may have ever hurt emotionally or physically, then stated, "I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I'm going places. I know it, and I want you all to join me on my journey."
At around 11:30, move-population-potential was reached. It seemed the night was defined by several poignant moments of confusion. Word around the move was that Aidan didn’t understand how eyeglasses worked, believing that the vision-correcting features were the nosepads, rather than the prescription lenses. Later in the evening Kurt asserted that Emily P and Natalie T are related via a shared father. His claim was aggressively refuted by his peers, but he holds fast to his belief.
As the night wore on, Austin R arrived with his friends visiting from Michigan. Jane approached them and introduced herself, excited to hear their opinion on an authentic Montclair move. After she explained The Move Review and it’s mission, Austin’s friend Keshav asked if there was a word count for his quote to which someone responded, “Yeah three words.” After several moments of deep thought, Keshav declared, “It is bright.” LD said, “I feel like I'm in the house that's in the middle of the air in The Wizard of Oz.”
Eric got the move’s attention via glass and spoon once again and ushered Aidan to the center of the living room, following a chorus of cheers. Aidan braved the crowd and began to speak, “I Just wanna say a few words, just a few words that I’d like you guys to marinate with.” He then delved into a complicated and at times incomprehensible metaphor, comparing the class of 2016 to a rare piece of steak. Raised smartphones peppered the audience, filming the speech, filming history in the making. Aidan returned to his seat after several minutes of extemporaneous babbling and our hearts were all warmed.
As the move wound down, Annie revisited Robert for another quote. He stated, “sweat is the escape of the soul.” Around 12:30 AM, the sky opened up and newly licensed teen drivers had to brave the hail, vicious downpour, and sky-shattering lighting on their journey home.
Jack gave us the final quote of the night, further cementing our conviction that there was, in fact, a star of the move. “At one point Aidan Dunn had a boston creme donut smeared all over his face. Good night.”
Thank you for hosting Sam!
Overall Rating: 8.08
Female to Male Ratio: 5:3
Redeeming Quality: The class of 2016 is like a rare piece of steak