The night began with Jane and her cousins engrossed in Zombieland, 12 miles north of Montclair in a little town called “New York City.” Ever heard of it? As the clock neared 10 pm, Jane’s mother finally finished saying goodbye to her extended family, a good 40 minutes after she began, and Jane was en route to Annie’s house where we prepared for another gruesome review.
At approximately 11:17 pm, we arrived at our destination. Upon entering the Norrie residence, we saw clusters 40 and 50-something-year-olds gleefully singing along to the early-60’s Beatles classic, I Saw Her Standing There. Tino, recognizing our confusion at the lack of youth-presence, directed us to the third floor where our peers were gathered.
The move was sparsely populated by the time of our arrival, but the teenage energy was through the roof. Everyone was electric from the thrill of sipping soda a few floors away from idiosyncratic adult strangers. “Wow,” Jack stated, “If you're looking for the most diverse social event ever, look no further than the Norrie holiday party. I just saw a professional cellist and Paul Hirschorn in the same minute.”
The third floor had absolutely no music. We went to DJ Burt for his response on an aux-less move: “I'm f***ed yo. Lmao, I wish there was an aux,” he stated. He then added, “The key to success is The Move Review.” The thought of a music-less move originally frightened teens, “What would fill the void in the event of a move-wide silence?” We wondered. Luckily, our social skills, which we have been carefully refining since middle school, came through and barely anyone noticed the lack of Electric Bodega remixes to pop classics.
Teens were divided among four spaces. Two bedrooms, a small hallway, and a quasi-kitchen. Each room brought its own flavor. For college discussion, Sam Norrie’s sister’s room was the place to be. For casual school-oriented small talk, check out the hallway. For a brief nap, the other bedroom. For a sweet hideaway with sticky floors, try the quasi-kitchen. The possibilities were near endless.
Jane and the other former-Renaissance students were buzzing with excitement over the spotting of their former art teacher at the adult party on the first floor. Upon venturing downstairs, Jane saw Uma and Adriana standing right next to said art teacher, yet eerily silent. While positioning her phone to take a photo of the peculiar situation, Jane made direct eye-contact with her former art teacher and lowered her camera in shame. The only thing that could have cheered Jane up from that unbearably awkward encounter was an I’m a Little Teapot rendition by Tino and Sam. Luckily, that was exactly what was in store.
Glynnis and Jane both found it amusing to lean precariously over the third floor railing, overlooking a 15 foot drop. Annie was on high alert, wary of their lanky frames’ ability to tip over easily, and with firm tugs, pulled them away from certain death several times. Among a crowd of teens, the topic of jazz arose and Glynnis began to discuss her fondness of Ella Fitzgerald. Jane, keen to make conversation, mentally prepared herself to say something cool about jazz that would impress her fellow move-goers.
“Ella Fitzgerald? Is she a jazz singer?”
Later in the night, Amalya noted, “Walking upstairs from getting food was very tiring, I'm out of breath now. I hope I get quoted, last time they said I would but then I saw nothing.” Well, here you go Amalya.
Towards the end of the move, Sam Norrie took Annie firmly by the waist and sung familiar show tunes into the crook of her neck. The romance of it all was astonishing yet short lived, and soon, we had to roll out.
While exiting the move, Jane overheard Jamie say that his cousins don’t have stairs so when they visited him, they whyled out and ran up and down his stairs several times in excitement. This anecdote was heard in passing, so it could have been wildly misinterpreted, but alas, we report it.
Annie’s cousin gave us a ride home. We blasted “Kim” by Eminem and, as usual, Rachel had trouble controlling her raucous laughter in the backseat.
Overall Rating: 7/10
Female to Male Ratio: 6:4
Redeeming Quality: Young enough to be invited to the 3rd floor party
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