Last night began with premature darkness. When the sun said her tearful goodbye to the sky at approximately 3:14 pm, Annie and Jane had only one question on their minds: who is letting us into their house tonight? Annie got word of the move from John early in the evening: The destination was Aidan’s house.
Around 10 pm, Annie’s mom dropped off Rachel, Annie and Jane. We could tell immediately upon our arrival that things were about to get crazy, based mostly on the high volume of raw dogs and Fjällräven backpacks. Maggie greeted us enthusiastically and did not hesitate in asking to be quoted for the review. She stated, “This move is like a mullet. It’s business in the front and party in the back. The mellow atmosphere of the top floor perfectly accents the dancing room in the basement.” Aidan then promised us the deal of a lifetime: drink all the soda you see for $5. We would have been fools to pass up such an offer.
After lifting up a very heavy speaker and carrying it from the basement into the kitchen, DJ Kurt stood proudly at his workspace, carefully selecting tunes. He took his responsibility in stride and blessed the aux with many classics, once again prompting compliments from fellow move-goers. The music was combated only by a gong that sat in the nearby dining room. Each time it was struck, the volume shocked everyone into temporary silence.
Upon arriving at the move, Elisabeth told Jane that when she heard Aidan was throwing down, she eagerly drove to his house. Unfortunately, it was not explained to her that the event was at Aidan’s dad’s house. When she rang the doorbell of his mom’s home, eagerly awaiting the greeting of a friend or acquaintance, she was welcomed by Aidan’s mother. Without a word, she realized her mistake and turned around. It was straight out of Dazed and Confused.
Ellery and Sebi were spotted cuddling on a couch, passionately quoting DJ Khaled and insulting the concept of “inside voices.” Ellery screamed, “Goals so big I get uncomfortable talking to small minded people!” Sebi kissed him on the cheek in approval.
The second wave of attendees flooded the first floor. Beverages were spilled in haste, and talk of college acceptances polluted the air. Freshman Eliza W remarked, “It’s very loud,” and expressed slight distress at being so easily identified as the younger sibling of a MHS graduate. An unfortunately placed bathroom led three young men to be walked in on whilst peeing, adding a dash of adolescent tension to the evening.
Eric, Annie, Rachel, and John sat on a windowsill and reminisced about Youtube stars, speaking wistfully of the days when Fred was the preferred form of entertainment. Eric added, “Annie, your mom is a sweetheart,” and made a graceful exit from the conversation. Thanks Eric, Meg loves you too.
A hockey game played from a mounted flatscreen and a Class of 2015 yearbook was admired around a coffee table. Teens were gradually falling victim to the wear and tear of the move atmosphere. Brian provided insight by saying, “Rob looks like my socks after three days straight of wearing.” Jack added, “ Human mortality causes constant dissatisfaction.”
As the night wound down, a second move was discovered...in the basement of the very same home. After some light exploration, it appeared to be a hot-spot for freshmen seeking safety. Austin S gracefully simulated rowing for 7 seconds on an erg machine before collapsing in a fit of exhaustion.
Right before leaving, Jane asked John to provide a quote. His response was sad and unexpected. “The move was was fine but it was just a move.” Jack bid Annie goodbye by alerting a nearby group of sophomores that she was truly a, “conscious being.” Thank you for opening your home to us Aidan, you were a lovely host!
Overall Rating: 7.8
Female to Male Ratio: 4:3
Redeeming Quality: The thrill of being young
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